“For every four or five profiles, you’d see one female profile.” “All of a sudden, I felt like now you could be a cis woman on there,” he said. According to longtime Grindr user Randy, in 20 more women started to show up on the app. Once again… did she know where she was?” he said. I even saw one who was demanding you be a certain height.
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First time I thought it was a joke: Did she know what Grindr was? Maybe they were looking for a gay bestie? After all, everyone on TV has one of those, right? Then a few more showed up. A complaint about a lack of a gender filter on Grindr surfaced in 2019 on Grindr’s feedback site, but in the past four months, the complaints have intensified.Īnother man, who has been using Grindr since 2017, said, “I first noticed women on there when I reinstalled Grindr after a couple of years break while in a relationship. Another user said that there were so many cis women on the app that male users were writing in their profiles “NO MEN,” indicating that they only wanted women to contact them. “When did Grindr become a place for cis women to join 😭😭 we can’t have anything :(” wrote one Reddit user last year. Grindr calls itself the “world’s largest social networking app for gay, bi, trans, and queer people,” but for about a year, Grindr users have been complaining about an influx of cis women seeking hookups with bisexual male partners, although they’ve been allowed on the app since about 2017. ”Wherever cis women go, cis het men follow… The biggest worry is that if Grindr becomes the place where everyone looks for casual sex, it will stop being safe for LGBT people,” he said. When he started using the app, he said he saw one or two profiles of cis women a year.
One bisexual man from Iowa who has been using Grindr since 2011 told me via Reddit DM that “the uptick of cis women on the app happened in the past 3 years, absolutely exploding this year.” It’s hard to know exactly how many women have joined Grindr (the company said it doesn’t keep data on its users’ gender and sexual orientation), but among the 27 Grindr users I spoke to, there was at least the perception that women were joining the app in droves. Grey is one of the 10 women (five cis and five trans) and two nonbinary femmes I spoke to who have used Grindr to find men to sleep with or date. “I’ve made some amazing friends, and I’ve had some really great experiences.” “Bisexual men are not given a place to admit their bisexuality with any kind of safety,” she said. It’s more acceptable to be a sex worker in these spaces. “I find the attitudes in gay and queer communities a lot more tolerant and understanding when it comes to sex work. She thought she would feel safe there, and be able to “duck the heterosexual male gaze a little bit further,” she said. That’s when she turned to Grindr, a dating app originally designed for gay men. She swiped through dating apps, including more queer-friendly ones like Feeld, but couldn’t find many bisexual guys.
So she decided to stop dating straight men. “I wasn’t doing it for me - I was doing it for them,” she said. “The things that I like to do in the realm of my bedroom are generally not things that straight men want to engage with,” she said.įor instance, she wanted to have threesomes with two men, but because she’s pansexual, men kept proposing threesomes with her and another woman instead. The man she’d been dating wasn’t satisfying her sexually. “When I started dating again, I didn’t want to really go about things the same way,” the 42-year-old sex worker told me from her New Orleans home. In early 2020, Leigh Grey was in a funk: Her dad had recently died and her boyfriend had just dumped her.
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